A few words on "Loved and Lost"

shot on film by @zacharyy.sun

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Last year sometime, I was introduced to Brian Bond by my good friend Ezekiel. At the time, Zeke was talking me through approaching my next record. I didn't have a title. I wasn't sure what songs would be on it. I didn't know what I wanted it to sound like. He discouraged me from pursuing a studio setting and recommended I scale back to a home recording situation. We both knew I couldn't afford another studio record. Nonetheless, I had a really hard time imagining a home made record and was fairly allergic to the idea. In my experience, there's no shortage of over-confident guys with cheap mics and laptops making bad recordings. At some point, I went to see Zeke play a show here in SF. He was backing Jon Turner on guitar and the second guitarist was Brian Bond. He introduced me to Brian and after the show, Brian took me home because we realized we lived in the same area of the city. We chatted and he told me he was a producer and invited me to come see his place. Not long after that, I found myself in Brian's living room recording "Dandelion" on his stand up piano.

That was a little over a year ago I think. What unfolded was quite a journey. For most of the last year, I walked to Brian's house a couple afternoons a week and pieced this album together one song at a time. A few things occurred to me early on about Brian. He was always prepared, always on time, and very focused when we worked together. He took our work seriously and he was professional. This made me feel more at ease with a home recording situation. Additionally, Brian really liked my songs and was invested from the get go. I felt respected by him. And lastly, I felt very confident and safe in Brian's presence. These three aspects created a lot of trust between us and I feel very grateful to Brian for his care.

A few songs in, I realized that every song was going to have its sonic identity. I felt my last few records were very cohesive in sound, and now I was forced to let go of any such ambition. And on top of that, we were leaning into more "pop" territory which sort of made me nervous. I have always had pop sensibilities, but I felt that songs like "Dandelion", "Loved and Lost", and "Faith" were very polished compared to my previous work. And these songs were driven by vocal performances very akin to my first record. I was singing louder, more distinctly, and experimenting with tonal choices that felt "pop" in their delivery, and yet somehow, so naked and honest. Brian really championed the parts of my voice I am most afraid of and I feel I took a huge step forward in terms of accepting my voice and owning it with this record. My lead vocal on "Faith" for instance scared me! I was delivering a very vulnerable performance with nothing to hide behind. You can hear how raw my voice is on that tune. I have a unique and very imperfect voice. And some days I feel confident in it and others I feel embarrassed by it. But Brian loved when I sang with confidence and allowed my voice to feel naked and passionate.

We worked really fast together. I remember realizing out loud with him just how long I've been doing this for and how mature I felt as an artist. He would push record and we'd just do a take or two and move on. I think a lot of this had to do with the strength of the songs I had written. They had parts and defined strumming patterns and such.

As we began to make real headway, I decided to release the songs one by one throughout the year. (Greg Francis - long time engineer for me and good friend - had recommended I try a strategy like this years ago and it always stuck with me). We released "Dandelion" and "Loved and Lost" long before most of the record was complete. Before we had an album title and while we were still deciding on the track list. In some ways, this was kind of an exercise for me in taking things less seriously and just going with the flow. All these months later, I feel confident this strategy is working. My listener base has grown slowly, but steadily, and I've learned a lot in the process.

So there's a little technical background for you. Now, I'm going to speak candidly about the songs and what this project means for me.

For those of you who have been following along for a while, I am grateful to be able to say there's some things I grew out of with this record. I think my last full length record, Nightmare In Your Arms, represents a side of me who felt incredibly small, lost, and sad. I love that record to pieces. But it was written during the most turbulent chapter of my adult life. There is a lot of low self worth and insecurity on that project. Lots of pain. Lots of darkness. In contrast, Loved and Lost, feels like an enormous departure from that. These songs, however melancholy they may be, feel more mature to me. There is a perspective inside the lyricism I just didn't have before. You can hear real grief and sadness, but I am proud to say with confidence that you can hear an adult who is confronting his grief and really processing it. There is a nihilism driving my last record that doesn't exist on this one. This record is more contemplative I think. It has whimsical moments. It contains hope and gratitude. It sounds like someone who wants to keep going. Nightmare In Your Arms was written by someone who wasn't sure if he wanted to keep going. Loved and Lost was written by someone who is healing. Someone who is sober. Someone who can get out of bed in the morning. Someone who has friends and a rich life.

This record documents a romantic relationship where I experienced a lot of healing. Mmm I just got very emotional writing that sentence. Many of the songs are about someone who loved and supported me in a way I had never experienced before. This particular dynamic was complicated and there was difficulty, but there was a lot of healing and love and beautiful experiences. Other songs explore briefer romantic stints, and still others are about family, my dad, sobriety, etc.

The first track is the oldest song on this record. "Dandelion" was the last song about the relationship that Nightmare In You Arms was inspired by. I liked the idea of "Dandelion" picking up where I left off on the last album and I always thought it was a compelling tune. And curiously, the closing track ends with the words "In Your Arms". I guess I like those words. If you couldn't tell, I don't being alone. Still working on that.

So. Loved and Lost is complete as I write this. It is mastered and ready for release. I'm planning on a November release, three years exactly from the release of Nightmare In Your Arms.

I am extremely proud of this thing. It's my most polished and mature effort. I'm grateful for Brian's commitment, encouragement, support, work ethic, and skill set. I think we made something really special. Very earnest. We towed the line between great sounding production and a very natural, honest, and organic approach. Honestly, my expectations are quelled this time around, but if anything good comes of this record, you better believe Brian will be properly recognized and rewarded.

The following is the complete track list with credits as well as some thank you's

All songs written, performed, and co produced by Ashton York

All songs recorded and mixed by Brian Bond

All songs mastered by Ed Brooks of Resonant Mastering

Dandelion (Bass and electric guitar by Brian Bond, Drums by Keith Carne)

Interlude (Bass by Brian Bond, drums by Keith Carne, strings by Abby Gundersen)

Loved and Lost (Electric guitar and synth by Brian Bond, drums by Chandler Dixon)

Faith (Electric guitar and bass by Brian Bond, drums by Keith Carne, piano by Zachary Sun, string arrangement by Brian Bond and Abby Gundersen, strings by Abby Gundersen)

Alcatraz (Electric guitar by Brian Bond, drums by Keith Carne, wurlitzer by Max Hart)

Have This Dance (Acoustic guitar by Brian Bond, piano and background vocals by Abby Gundersen)

Bicycle (Drums by Keith Carne, background vocals by Denison Witmer)

Oxygen (Bass and lapsteel by Brian Bond, drums by Keith Carne)

Labyrinth (Drums by Keith Carne, strings by Abby Gundersen)

Hot Tears

Special thanks:

Mom for being one of my closest friends and walking through life with me one day at a time. I feel really, really seen and loved by you. Thank you for showing up for me and celebrating my work

Kristyn for supporting me in so many ways, for inspiring me, and reminding me of my strength and resilience. You are such a beautiful person and I am so grateful to have you in my life

Zach for being my best friend, championing my songs, and helping me navigate this record

Victoria for your friendship, kindness, and encouragement. You have walked me through a huge chunk of this record with so much love and gentleness.

Tim for walking me through SO much growth and healing the last few years. I love you so much

Denison for supporting me and encouraging me. I can't describe how much your music means to me and how grateful I am to have you in my corner. Thank you

Nick, Alexis, Chef Tony, Derek, Laurann, Abe, and the whole team at Seven Hills. I am so grateful to work with people who care about me and believe in me. Thank you for putting up with me and for a stable, steady job which has paid for this record

My siblings for your friendship and support

And finally a very special thanks to those of you who have been along for the ride so many years. Thank you for buying my records, coming to my shows, encouraging me, and showing up over and over again. I love you